Focus and Perspective

My mom challenged me the other day to pick a theme word for the upcoming year.  Out of a plethora of possibilities, I decided to choose the word FOCUS.  However, in thinking about focus, I realize that I also need to embrace perspective.


So why  FOCUS ? First of all, why not?!  We live in a large world with possibilities and distractions constantly bombarding our senses.  At some point, we need to filter out the excess.  I also want to choose to be clear about where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I am.  This makes me think of my vision:  When my eyes are tired, I have trouble focusing them and need to wear glasses.  Often, I will experience some double vision, as my eyes try to work together.  To me, this exemplifies the role I need FOCUS to take in my life...I need focus to bring the different working parts of my life into the same line, for a stronger purpose.


I have found that being tired changes my ability to  FOCUS ...or rather, I let it change my ability.  Being true to the path takes attention to detail and energy, which are not always available resources.  I think this is where perspective comes into play.  As a perfectionist, I would rather choose to fail or stop something than to make a mistake.  (At least then it's my choice, and I am still perfect in my choices.)  The irony is that choosing to fail leads me down a different path than I choose to be on, and so I have to embrace perspective.  


For me, embracing perspective gives me the opportunity to step back from the path, even if it's just to pause along the way.  I choose to turn around and look at where I've been and where I'm going.  I don't live in the past or in the future, so moments away from the present allow me to remember why I am where I am today.  It is important for me to recognize that I am not only on my path, but also a path that is going somewhere, doing something...


So what do focus and perspective have to do with seeing yourself differently?  Maybe nothing...but if you're like me, maybe everything.  Like I said earlier, if I am tired, I experience bouts of double vision.  For me, I can experience emotional "double vision" when I fundamentally know something, but I cannot get past thinking of it in a certain way.  For example - without sounding egotistical - I know I am not ugly, but I struggle with seeing myself as anything but unattractive.  In fact, I refuse compliments, challenge others' opinions, and even describe myself negatively.  It was only recently that I stepped back from my view of myself and tried to see what others were talking about...I was so focused on what I was telling myself was the "truth", that I couldn't see what was real.  I had to change perspective, which for me demanded that I stopped defining my own personal beauty as physical.  


The transition was not immediate...but the effects were.  I have had many people stop me to comment that I am "carrying" myself differently now - that I seem different...and I am.  I am allowing myself to not focus inwardly on the negative, but to still maintain focus on the path I'm traveling.  This change in perspective has given me greater focus than I thought possible, because I am able to filter out the negative to define and travel a more narrow path.


So 2012 brings FOCUS into my life.  I am eager to see how and where I travel, knowing that I will be a better me at the end of the year!