My Life...The Junk Drawer

I was talking with one of my co-workers last week, and I made the comment that my life feels like a junk drawer...You know that drawer - the one that has odds and ends thrown into it, that never has an organizational scheme, the one that has hidden treasures or forgotten items...That is how my life has been feeling.


So I have spent some time thinking about it and why it feels that way; one of the first thoughts I had was that I wish life had a Container Store that had boxes and baskets of every size, shape, and color to organize everything that's going on.  (On a side note, I remember my first trip into the Container Store...my friend and I bought these tiny blue boxes that could only hold 3 M&Ms.  Fabulous!)  Anyways, the need to organize my life sent me on a different path...What do I need in my life?


What do I need in my life?


In response to this question, I truly began sifting through my thoughts - both the "junk" thoughts and the "not-so-junk" thoughts.  Then I began looking at my life:  What was causing this rift between thoughts?  How was I breaking them down into categories?  What was affecting how I was processing life and its events?  Needless to say, I felt like I was digging furiously through the draw in search of a key.  


The result says more about who I am than I could ever have imagined.  


For the last month, there have been several events that have caused me to wonder where I would be living after this summer - in terms of both the address and the city location...Now this is not something I take lightly.  I am a homebody at heart and would spend the majority of my time at home, if I could.  It is a safe place for me to explore and rest and regenerate for time outside my home.  I need a door that closes that makes me feel safe - not only physically, but especially emotionally.  Worrying about where I was going to live has occupied a large amount of my time since the turn of the calendar to 2012.  After this weekend, I was able to establish some clarity in my living situation for the rest of the year.  Immediately, an emotional burden was lifted, and I felt safe.  I felt hope.  I felt peace.


In answer to the question of what I need in life...I need home.  I need safety.  I need a place for me.  This helps me feel whole; I am able to take care of myself when I feel I have a home.  (I bet you can guess that January was not my best month for taking care of myself...)  I am not sure why this is so important to me, although being an introvert has to play a huge part...But it makes me think of the instructions you are given on airlines:  Put your oxygen mask on before helping others who may need assistance.  For years and years, I fought these instructions.  I couldn't see the value in taking care of myself first.  Now that I have started embracing this practice, I can say with confidence that I am a better friend, daughter, co-worker, and person in general.


What do you need from life?  What will help you to put on your oxygen mask first, so that you can assist others later?  What will help you to realize your value and potential?  Start with one thing...for me it's home...and use that one thing to build your safety and to allow for you to explore and embrace your identity.  Because you are worth it...and we all have a safe place.