- Being alone in a large group
- Not being listened to or heard
- Only being seen by what is on the outside
- Feeling inferior in any way
- Other ways that are recognizable but hard to explain
Usually, feelings of insignificance come when I am around a group of people with a trait or ability I admire but do not have. Sometimes, I may have those qualities, but not at what I would consider an admirable level.
Take, for instance, an experience I've had this past week...I recently joined a free online college course at Coursera. The class is E-Learning and Digital Cultures at the University of Edinburgh. There are over 40,000 people registered for this course. We have a designated course website, but we are invited to interact on all social media outlets a course hashtag. I have been following course interaction on twitter, and I am overwhelmed by the thoughts and sheer volume of tweets that this course is generating. In the course of a week, I have gone from feeling like I am on the cusp of learning by taking an online course to feeling like I have no fresh ideas...and to feeling insignificant. The irony of feeling insignificant in this course is that it is designed to help us make connections at a global level and to become as involved as we want to be. My vulnerabilities are becoming more apparent as I process my reactions to this course.
I am not sure how I will continue to process feeling like a small duck on a big pond, but I do know that I can't let this opportunity pass me by: I need to not only allow myself to be vulnerable in this class, but I also need to learn how to make learning connections at a global level. I have nothing to be afraid of or ashamed by in my learning process. I actually should find courage in how I am letting growth into my life.
Regardless of how I end up feeling about e-learning and/or digital cultures, I will say this:
I am not insignificant. And being part of a global community does not mean that my voice is unimportant. In fact, I would argue that it is even more imperative for me to find my voice in this world. (I'm not sure why, but I would guess that by empowering myself, I could better help others find their place in this world...just a guess, though.)
On a totally unrelated note...We had a snow day this week. I didn't know until that day how much I needed a day off - mentally, physically, and emotionally. I obviously haven't been paying attention to my body, and I need to do a better job with that.
