I recently went on a road trip to Colorado. It had been years since I last drove across the state of Nebraska into Eastern Colorado. A week later, I made the return trip home. First, let me say that I don't anticipate driving that distance again (at least not both ways) next year. Second, let me recommend listening to an audio-book, as it helps time pass more quickly. What I really want to talk about, however, is the return trip home.
Over the past few months, I have been working at breaking life-long habits that do not support my current ideal of being healthy and taking care of myself. My progress has ebbed and flowed, which has not been my favorite, but it has allowed me to continuously grow and demonstrate the desire to grow. Habits can be both good and bad, but I associate habits with not having to think. So I have been trying to break both good and bad habits because I want to think. I want to be present and engaged in my life. I want to make decisions.
With that being said, the past few months have been challenging for me. There has been a lot of "hurry up and wait" moments. There have been a large amount of decisions made by other people over the past few months directly impacted my life. Planning for an unknown future can make it hard to live in the present. (And I struggled - I'm not going to lie. I felt that I had to choose how to take care of myself, and I chose to focus on my mental and emotional health. I feel like I am now able to take care of myself more wholly, which is definitely a good thing.) It is most definitely difficult to be consistently present when you are looking ahead.
So being present, breaking habits, and taking care of myself has been on my brain. The car ride home provided me with an intriguing contrast to being present...My brother and I were well-versed in road-trip "parent-isms". Periodically, one of us would throw out a comment that would make both of us chuckle and remember our parents fondly. (My favorite, by the way, is when we cross back into Nebraska saying, "Ah, the good life." I smiled just typing that!)
Our family is big on tradition. (Because we're Presbyterian? Irish? Not quite sure why...) If there is a way that we can repeat an awesome moment of a celebration, we will. We like to remember. We like to connect and celebrate. But in my quest to be present by breaking habits, I had to question whether it was good for me to celebrate traditions of the past.
My internal debate was quite short: I am choosing to embrace traditions. For me, traditions do not represent living in the past, but instead remembering. Traditions provide me with the opportunity to think and choose whether to continue to celebrate occasions. The key for me is that when I take part in a tradition - whether singing the Rock Chalk chant or hanging stockings by the fireplace - I make a choice. I recognize the opportunity to do these mindlessly, but I rarely do. I love remembering the past and connecting it to where I am now. I look for opportunities to embrace traditions in my current - or new - settings and personalize them. I love to share traditions, so others can grow with me.
I am quite sure that some traditions could fade into habits. The good thing about this is that I'm breaking habits.
