If my life were a weather pattern, this would be one of those windy, cold, rainy weeks. (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here...for me, it would actually be hot instead of cold.) Driving would be crazy, as people neglected to use common sense while they were on the road. There would be complaints heard in office buildings throughout the city. You really wouldn't want to leave your house, choosing instead to seek comfort and warmth...and hiding. So what are we to do when we face a week when everything seems to be going the wrong way, or life is weighing on us, causing us to trudge through the mud?
Jump in a puddle.
Find a way to embrace joy in the moment. Do you remember being a child and putting on your boots and raincoat, just to go search out the puddles during a rainstorm? Do you remember standing outside when it was snowing, trying to catch a snowflake on your tongue? Are you willing to remember? What could this look like in our everyday lives?
I want to share with you a nugget of wisdom I have learned over the past year. It is amazing and can change your life, if you let it...but, man, is it difficult.
Be thankful.
Right there, in the middle of your rainy moment, give thanks for something. For me, this can look several different ways, depending on the weight of the moment. Sometimes I simply say, "God, I know I'm supposed to thank you for something right now, but I don't know what I can be thankful for...so thank you that you are there." Other times, I can be specific: "Thank you for a family that loves and accepts me." "Thank you for snow that was unexpected."
Why are these moments of thankfulness so important? Perspective. I've mentioned it before, but a change in perspective can mean a change in your world. I think about the moments when I am not thankful...if I stay in that moment and choose to look in the mirror at myself (whether physically or metaphorically), I almost never see the good in my life...I see the struggle I have with my weight; I see the ways I've failed my friends and family; I see the regrets and the shames of my past.
I truly believe that our mirrors (both physical and metaphorical) are a true reflection of our perspectives and positions in our own lives. When I grab on to something for which I am thankful, I return joy to my life. I step out of the blackness and into the light of truth, which can reveal more than I ever expected. Being thankful expands not only my field of vision, but it also gives me permission to not focus on myself. Then, if I happen to see myself in the mirror, I don't stop and stare/wallow. I don't even stop to judge myself...I am too busy living my life and finding joy.
Are you willing to stop and be thankful in all the moments of your life?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Do You Believe?
If you have never seen a TED Talk, I highly recommend you visit their website. There is a wealth of information and wisdom being discussed and shared by some of the most brilliant minds of our time.
I just watched a TED Talk by Caroline Casey, a woman with whom I was not familiar, but one who just challenged me to change. "I never needed eyes to see...I simply needed vision and belief." By the time Caroline Casey said these words at the end of her talk, I knew who she was and what she stood for. Caroline was raised with no labels and no limitations; her parents raised her to embrace her talents and abilities. At the age of 17, she was told that she had been legally blind since birth ("I never needed eyes to see..."), but her parents never allowed for her to know that she "should be" limited by her physical disability - they raised her with the ability to believe that she could do anything she wanted to...they taught her to believe.
My first thought was this: If my parents hadn't told me the truth about my "condition" for 17 years, that would mean they were liars. (A little judgmental, I know...but I did move on quickly!) My second thought was drastically different: Wow. She was not upset with her parents, but thankful for teaching her how to believe. And not just the power to believe, but the amazing ability to believe in herself. How long did I yearn for the desire to believe that I was worth something, that I had value, that I mattered.
Now, Caroline did come upon some struggles later in life, but she discovered that she was believing in the wrong thing...she wasn't believing in herself, that all of her was enough. How often does that happen? Sitting here right now, I have been struggling to embrace all the different aspects of myself, knowing that I haven't been perfect today. Do I believe that I am enough? Caroline added that it's exhausting trying to be perfect when you're not. Are you tired? Is it more difficult to fight who you are or to accept it and embrace who you really are, imperfections and all?
How can we learn from Caroline Casey, a woman whose vision surpasses the limits of her eyes? For me, I need to consider that only seeing with my eyes puts a constraint on the vision of my heart and soul. I need to re-evaluate what I am looking for and how I am looking. I need to let go of labels and limitations and believe in myself...embrace myself - mistakes, imperfections, and all. I need to learn to believe in myself, to let go of the preconceived notions that I allow and use to hold me back from growth and vision. I need to believe that I am enough.
What do you need to believe?
I just watched a TED Talk by Caroline Casey, a woman with whom I was not familiar, but one who just challenged me to change. "I never needed eyes to see...I simply needed vision and belief." By the time Caroline Casey said these words at the end of her talk, I knew who she was and what she stood for. Caroline was raised with no labels and no limitations; her parents raised her to embrace her talents and abilities. At the age of 17, she was told that she had been legally blind since birth ("I never needed eyes to see..."), but her parents never allowed for her to know that she "should be" limited by her physical disability - they raised her with the ability to believe that she could do anything she wanted to...they taught her to believe.
My first thought was this: If my parents hadn't told me the truth about my "condition" for 17 years, that would mean they were liars. (A little judgmental, I know...but I did move on quickly!) My second thought was drastically different: Wow. She was not upset with her parents, but thankful for teaching her how to believe. And not just the power to believe, but the amazing ability to believe in herself. How long did I yearn for the desire to believe that I was worth something, that I had value, that I mattered.
Now, Caroline did come upon some struggles later in life, but she discovered that she was believing in the wrong thing...she wasn't believing in herself, that all of her was enough. How often does that happen? Sitting here right now, I have been struggling to embrace all the different aspects of myself, knowing that I haven't been perfect today. Do I believe that I am enough? Caroline added that it's exhausting trying to be perfect when you're not. Are you tired? Is it more difficult to fight who you are or to accept it and embrace who you really are, imperfections and all?
How can we learn from Caroline Casey, a woman whose vision surpasses the limits of her eyes? For me, I need to consider that only seeing with my eyes puts a constraint on the vision of my heart and soul. I need to re-evaluate what I am looking for and how I am looking. I need to let go of labels and limitations and believe in myself...embrace myself - mistakes, imperfections, and all. I need to learn to believe in myself, to let go of the preconceived notions that I allow and use to hold me back from growth and vision. I need to believe that I am enough.
What do you need to believe?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Focus and Perspective
My mom challenged me the other day to pick a theme word for the upcoming year. Out of a plethora of possibilities, I decided to choose the word FOCUS. However, in thinking about focus, I realize that I also need to embrace perspective.
So why FOCUS ? First of all, why not?! We live in a large world with possibilities and distractions constantly bombarding our senses. At some point, we need to filter out the excess. I also want to choose to be clear about where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I am. This makes me think of my vision: When my eyes are tired, I have trouble focusing them and need to wear glasses. Often, I will experience some double vision, as my eyes try to work together. To me, this exemplifies the role I need FOCUS to take in my life...I need focus to bring the different working parts of my life into the same line, for a stronger purpose.
I have found that being tired changes my ability to FOCUS ...or rather, I let it change my ability. Being true to the path takes attention to detail and energy, which are not always available resources. I think this is where perspective comes into play. As a perfectionist, I would rather choose to fail or stop something than to make a mistake. (At least then it's my choice, and I am still perfect in my choices.) The irony is that choosing to fail leads me down a different path than I choose to be on, and so I have to embrace perspective.
For me, embracing perspective gives me the opportunity to step back from the path, even if it's just to pause along the way. I choose to turn around and look at where I've been and where I'm going. I don't live in the past or in the future, so moments away from the present allow me to remember why I am where I am today. It is important for me to recognize that I am not only on my path, but also a path that is going somewhere, doing something...
So what do focus and perspective have to do with seeing yourself differently? Maybe nothing...but if you're like me, maybe everything. Like I said earlier, if I am tired, I experience bouts of double vision. For me, I can experience emotional "double vision" when I fundamentally know something, but I cannot get past thinking of it in a certain way. For example - without sounding egotistical - I know I am not ugly, but I struggle with seeing myself as anything but unattractive. In fact, I refuse compliments, challenge others' opinions, and even describe myself negatively. It was only recently that I stepped back from my view of myself and tried to see what others were talking about...I was so focused on what I was telling myself was the "truth", that I couldn't see what was real. I had to change perspective, which for me demanded that I stopped defining my own personal beauty as physical.
The transition was not immediate...but the effects were. I have had many people stop me to comment that I am "carrying" myself differently now - that I seem different...and I am. I am allowing myself to not focus inwardly on the negative, but to still maintain focus on the path I'm traveling. This change in perspective has given me greater focus than I thought possible, because I am able to filter out the negative to define and travel a more narrow path.
So 2012 brings FOCUS into my life. I am eager to see how and where I travel, knowing that I will be a better me at the end of the year!
So why FOCUS ? First of all, why not?! We live in a large world with possibilities and distractions constantly bombarding our senses. At some point, we need to filter out the excess. I also want to choose to be clear about where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I am. This makes me think of my vision: When my eyes are tired, I have trouble focusing them and need to wear glasses. Often, I will experience some double vision, as my eyes try to work together. To me, this exemplifies the role I need FOCUS to take in my life...I need focus to bring the different working parts of my life into the same line, for a stronger purpose.
I have found that being tired changes my ability to FOCUS ...or rather, I let it change my ability. Being true to the path takes attention to detail and energy, which are not always available resources. I think this is where perspective comes into play. As a perfectionist, I would rather choose to fail or stop something than to make a mistake. (At least then it's my choice, and I am still perfect in my choices.) The irony is that choosing to fail leads me down a different path than I choose to be on, and so I have to embrace perspective.
For me, embracing perspective gives me the opportunity to step back from the path, even if it's just to pause along the way. I choose to turn around and look at where I've been and where I'm going. I don't live in the past or in the future, so moments away from the present allow me to remember why I am where I am today. It is important for me to recognize that I am not only on my path, but also a path that is going somewhere, doing something...
So what do focus and perspective have to do with seeing yourself differently? Maybe nothing...but if you're like me, maybe everything. Like I said earlier, if I am tired, I experience bouts of double vision. For me, I can experience emotional "double vision" when I fundamentally know something, but I cannot get past thinking of it in a certain way. For example - without sounding egotistical - I know I am not ugly, but I struggle with seeing myself as anything but unattractive. In fact, I refuse compliments, challenge others' opinions, and even describe myself negatively. It was only recently that I stepped back from my view of myself and tried to see what others were talking about...I was so focused on what I was telling myself was the "truth", that I couldn't see what was real. I had to change perspective, which for me demanded that I stopped defining my own personal beauty as physical.
The transition was not immediate...but the effects were. I have had many people stop me to comment that I am "carrying" myself differently now - that I seem different...and I am. I am allowing myself to not focus inwardly on the negative, but to still maintain focus on the path I'm traveling. This change in perspective has given me greater focus than I thought possible, because I am able to filter out the negative to define and travel a more narrow path.
So 2012 brings FOCUS into my life. I am eager to see how and where I travel, knowing that I will be a better me at the end of the year!
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